Oh Seaweed Brain
by DumbCorporations
Summary: What did I do this time? Everything. The answer is everything. But hey, if you're the cake, I'm the blue icing. A multitude of Oneshots for the 30 Day OTP Challenge. Get ready. Get hyped, because I am ready for battle. Now all I need is Riptide...
1. Underwater Kiss

**I walked into the theater along with my acting partner and friend, a panel of judges staring blankly as we took our places at center stage.**

**One of the judges decided to speak up. "As you should know, this is the theatrical and musical remake of the Hero's of Olympus series by Rick Riordan. All rights belong to him, respectively."**

**We nodded, our heads bobbing up and down simultaneously. They paused for a second, examining us from head to toe. Then one of them, and old lady that reminded me of Mrs. Dodds with her hag like face and devilish features, pointed her pen at us.**

**"Slate please."**

**"Hi, I'm Anniebell, I'm auditioning for the role of Annabeth Chase and will be singing If I Fall by Matchbox Twenty."**

**"Hey, I'm Peter, I'm auditioning for the role of Percy Jackson and will be singing Can't let you go, also by Matchbox Twenty."**

**Nailed it.**

You know, in the past, my birthdays haven't exactly been what you'd call "fun". Most teenagers would spend time with their friends, you know, maybe go to a bowling alley, eat pizza, drink a few blue cokes, the usual teen stuff, right? Yeah, for me? Not so much. I guess the gods, *cough Zeus cough* decided that my life just wasn't hard enough. No, every year my birthday cake is made with a few special ingredients, the finest in all of Greece, courtesy of the 12 Olympians. The standard recipe: two cups of monster dust, one cup of Titan Lord, a dash of Mother Earth, a tablespoon of immortality, and sprinkle of a certain blonde from the Athena cabin. Oh, and don't forget the blue icing. You can't forget the blue icing. It's the best part!

Well, today's my birthday. August 18th. How old am I? I'm turning 18. Two years since Kronos got dumped back into Tartarus and one year since Gaea decided to go airborne. Good times. Goooooooood Times. Those days are over though. Kind of. This year, Annabeth and I are going to college. I know, me right? Who would have thought that I, Percy Jackson, would be going to college. Personally, I'm surprised they even accepted my application considering my perfect track record for getting kicked out of every school I attend.

Annabeth apparently has something planned for my birthday, but I have no clue what she's gonna do. Then again, do I ever know what Annabeth's gonna to do? This is why I took the dignity to read through Annabeth's diary. Yeah, yeah, yeah, invading privacy, blah, blah, blah but I wanna know what she's gonna dooooooooooo.

So far, all I've found were multiple sketches; her ideas for redesigning Olympus. It's still a work in progress. You'd think after two years of construction, the builders up there would be able to get their schist together. I'm mean, they're gods for gods sake! Can't they just snap their fingers and voila! A sexy marble bust of a certain son of Poseidon poofs into the throne room! All I'm saying is that there better be a monument of me up there or else Annabeth and I are going to have to have a serious chat.

Where's all the juicy stuff! I mean, sure. I'm looking for her plans for my birthday, but that doesn't mean I don't want in on all the gossip too. I hear the Aphrodite girls are the worst. Tell them one of your secret and five minutes later, it has spread across the entire camp like a current.

**Seaweed Brain****… ****Get Out. **

The words were sprawled across the page, written in bright red ink. Classic Annabeth. You can never go against Annabeth's word. That would be suicide. Well, technically I shouldn't have been looking in there anyway, but I'll take it as my second warning. I shut the diary and put it back on the shelf in its respective place. Annabeth would notice if anything is out of place. She knows her bookshelf like she knows the back of her hand.

Now where is my Wise Girl?

As I walked out of the Athena cabin, the entire camp seemed to be empty. There were no campers climbing the rock wall, getting burned by lava and scathed by the sharp rocks and edges. Nobody was riding boats in the canoe lake, swinging their paddles back and forth as they propelled themselves through the water, canoes tipping over one by one and dumping surprised campers into the water.

_But where is my Wise Girl?_

I walked towards the dining pavilion, heading over to the Poseidon table. I don't know. I felt like sitting down. Plus it was almost dinner time and my stomach was already howling. I could really go for some breakfast for dinner. I'm ready to drown my blue pancakes in gallons of syrup. Annabeth thinks it's repulsive, but as I've said to before, "I'm a Poseidon kid. I can't drown. And neither can my pancakes."

As I sat at the Poseidon table, I look out at the Long Island Sound, the moon faintly starting to appear through the haze of orange sunlight.

"Hey," Annabeth slid next to me on the bench. "Happy Birthday."

She was holding a huge misshapen cupcake with blue icing.

"So, your 'plans' for my birthday surprise?"

She smiled, leaning into the table in front of her.

"Well, they haven't happened yet. You'll just have to wait and see." She looked at me, her gray eyes sparkling with amusement.

"You never make things easy for me, do you?"

Then she laughed for real, and she put her hands around my neck. "I made that promise a long, long time ago. I am never, ever going to make things easy for you, Seaweed Brain. I'd think you'd be used to it by now."

When she kissed me, I felt like I was melting all over again. I could've stayed that way forever, but then I heard a shrill voice echo throughout the woods behind me.

"And the tradition continues!" Clarisse yelled.

Then, almost the whole entire camp piled into the pavilion (even the Hypnos kids managed to get out of bed), holding torches, birthday hats, streamers, and party horns.

Some came forwards and hoisted us up off of our seats and over their heads.

"Oh come on! Again? Seriously, can't have at least some privacy!"

"It's been two years and the love birds still need to cool off!" Clarisse shouted.

"Everyone, canoe lake!" Connor and Travis announced simultaneously

The crowd marched towards the lake, all the while blowing their horns and singing happy birthday songs. The whole entire time Annabeth and I held hands, smiling and laughing, up to the moment when they dumped us into the freezing cold lake.

And it was pretty much the second best underwater kiss of all time.

**Can you sense the sarcasm? It****'****s basically radiating off of me like a satellite sonar. I regret nothing.**

**So I was recently re-reading the series in order to satisfy my growing hunger while awaiting the next book and I realized, Clarisse was the first person to call Annabeth Wise Girl. Has the entire fandom just overlooked this fact? I mean, it****'****s a pretty prevalent detail that almost all of us have skimmed over. **

**Anyways, my friend challenged me to the 30 day OTP challenge: 15 short stories, one every other day. Yay****… ****I can get sucked into this spiraling vortex even more. I****'****m kind of already procrastinating. You know, hours playing the Elder Scrolls really take up a lot of time. Oh well. If you enjoyed this short one shot, then come back later if you are craving more. And more. And more. And more.**


	2. Cuddling Commodities

** This man. One word for you: repulsive. He was wearing a loud leopard print shirt that didn't quite fit around his humungous pot belly, along with bright purple jogging pants and neon trainers. His curly black hair was plastered across his face and sticking up in weird places. **

"**Hello, I'm be auditioning for the role of Dionysus, and I will be singing Drunken Love by Beyonce." He said, all the while drinking his can of Diet Coke.**

It all started the moment I got home. Sunday nights. Probably the epitome of my existence. I could've been doing something productive, like finish the blueprint I was working on for school, but rather, I just sat on the couch in an old pair of sweat pants and a camp t-shirt, watching Lost and eating Ben and Jerry's. I mummified myself in a cocoon of blankets. Seriously, it was as if Boreas himself and that snow witch Khione decided to turn my apartment into a ice rink. I swear to the gods, New Rome needs to spend their denarii on a new ventilation system

My phone buzzed next to me on the couch, Percy's caller ID illuminating the screen.

"Hello?" I said, a spoon of ice-cream halfway shoved into my mouth.

"Kill me now." His voice; soothing, calming, tired.

"What happened this time?" I asked, smiling as I ate another spoonful of Rocky Road.

He took a deep breath, sighing loudly into the speaker.

"Schooooooooooooooool."

"Percy, its ten o'clock at night. Calm down."

"But I have a paper due tomorrow, and I kinda, sort haven't started…."

I rolled my eyes. This was classic Percy. Ever since he started his marine biology class at New Rome's University, he realized that college wasn't all fun and games. When he signed up, he thought that the class would be easy for him, being a son of Poseidon and all. Nope. Term papers, bacterial extraction labs, in-depth studies of asexual reproduction, and more activities that actually involve using your brain.

"What's it about?"

"Um, hold on. Let me get my notes." I heard a bunch of shuffling, the crinkling of paper and the pounding of heavy objects on the floor. "One second, I almost got it. Gods dammit." More shuffling. "Here…um, its on ecological and eco-ecnmo-ecomonic…"

"You mean economical?"

"Yeah. The ecological and economical importance of coral reefs."

"And this is due tomorrow?"

"Yup."

"And you haven't even started?"

"That would be correct."

"Come on over." I could hear a squeal of delight coming from the other end of the line before it went dead.

Truthfully, I was planning on marathoning Game of Thrones, but I was happy that Percy was coming over. I hadn't seen him all week, even though we lived in the same apartment build School really got in the way of everything.

…

It was eleven o'clock. We had been working for five hours. _Five _hours. It felt like my mind had turned to mush hours ago.

"Annabeth?"

"Hm?" I replied, snuggled up to Percy's warm body.

We were both wrapped up on the couch, multiple blankets shielding us from the freezing cold, Percy's computer sitting on both of our laps. His arms were draped around my figure, his fingers vigorously typing away at the keys. We had made pretty good progress on his essay so far, but we were both tired and ready to go to sleep.

"I have a question."

"Go for it."

"So, if I can talk to sea creatures does that mean you can talk to owls."

"Um, I'm not sure if it works like that Percy."

Percy's face scrunched up, his eyebrows knitted together and his mouth flattened into a straight line, his bottom lip slightly poking out from underneath.

"But, I always wonder what owls think about. Do they hoot degrading insults at you? Like 'A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it' or 'Brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case they're nothing!' You should know since you are in fact a certified Owl Head."

"Percy!"

He just shrugged pulling me closer to him and kissing me on the cheek. It was silent for a mere five seconds before he spoke up again.

"Why do you have a belly button?"

"I don't know Percy, because I do. Why don't you have gills?"

"Because technically_, _I'm not a fish. Though, I would love to be a mermaid.

"_Under the Sea! Under the Sea! Darling it's better, down where it's wetter, take it from me! Up on the shore they work all day, out in the sun they slave away! While we devotin', full time to floatin', under the sea!"_

"Oh my gods Percy, you're killing me."

"When Thalia was a tree, was her favorite drink _root _beer?"

"Percy…no"

"If you're a child of Dionysus, does that mean you are allowed to illegally drink alcohol?

"Percy-"

"Since Poseidon is Athena's uncle, theoretically, does that make me your uncle?""

"Per-"

"If we were superheroes, would our joint pseudonym be SmartWater?"

"Since when did this become Twenty Questions?" I asked, looking back at his mischievous smile.

"It's not. I'm just brainstorming."

"For what?" I said, smiling into his chest, breathing in his scent, feeling his heart beat against his ribcage.

"Ways to get out of writing this dam paper."

"Well, it's working so far."

"Annabeth?"

"Yes Percy?"

"_Owl _always love you."

"_Owl_ always love you too, Kelp Head."

**Did you guys get the jokes? No. Okay then.**

**You know, doing this challenge, I'm starting to ask myself, "What am I doing with my life?" Well, I am now spending some of my valuable class periods attempting to write this crap, but it will all be over in thirty days. Just breath. Breath. In and out. Okay I'm good. Well, there are thirteen more to come, so hold onto your knickers, 'cause this is gonna be a wild ride.**


End file.
